


Remembering

by Warp5Complex_Archivist



Category: Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-03-23
Updated: 2006-03-23
Packaged: 2018-08-16 07:39:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8093704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Warp5Complex_Archivist/pseuds/Warp5Complex_Archivist
Summary: It's a special night for Trip, and Malcolm feels he shouldn't be alone. (02/03/2006)





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Kylie Lee, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Warp 5 Complex](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Warp_5_Complex), the software of which ceased to be maintained and created a security hazard. To make future maintenance and archive growth easier, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but I may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Warp 5 Complex collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/Warp5Complex).

  
Author's notes: A short little story that came to my mind all of a sudden. Some fluff, lots of friendship. Set around the end of season four.  
  
RoaringMice was my beta reader for this one. As always, my grateful thanks.  
  


* * *

Trip was lying on his bunk with his eyes closed when he heard the door bell chime; he grimaced and wondered if he could avoid answering it. All he wanted was a quiet evening alone with his thoughts. After a hard dayâ€™s work, was that really too much to ask?

The chime sounded again. He sighed, passing a tired hand over his eyes. _Go away, dammit,_ he willed.

â€œTrip?â€ The muffled voice was quite distinctive and in that one word had conveyed quite a range of feelings, among them stubborn resolve to wait until the call was answered.

Grunting, he rolled off the bed and shuffled to the door. With another, frustrated sigh he commanded it open and, crossing his arms over his chest, leaned against the frame, blocking the passage and giving Malcolm a far from welcoming look.

â€œYou oughtta have the last issue of â€˜Weapons in historyâ€™ waitinâ€™ for you in your quarters, if Iâ€™m not mistaken,â€ he drawled, without moving. The hint was painfully clear and Mal was no idiot. Trip figured heâ€™d take it and leave.

â€œItâ€™s not going anywhere. It will also be there tomorrow,â€ Malcolm simply replied, holding his gaze.

â€œWell, Iâ€™m not goinâ€™ anywhere either,â€ Trip said coolly. â€œIâ€™ll also be there tomorrow.â€

Malcolm raised his eyebrows and opened his mouth to speak.

â€œDonâ€™t,â€ Trip anticipated him brusquely. â€œIâ€™m in no mood for your pessimism,â€ he spat out more angrily than he had intended.

Malcolm pursed his lips, a fleeting frown knitting his brow.

â€œI was only going to say that drinking alone is not much fun,â€ he said in a quiet voice, raising a couple of bottles of beer he had kept hidden behind his back.

Trip looked at the bottles, then lifted his eyes to his friendâ€™s. Malcolmâ€™s eyes could be cold and cutting, but right now they were full of concern. He suddenly felt disgusted at himself for being rude with the one person who seemed to have rememberd and cared.

He shook his head and pushed off the door frame. â€œI... Iâ€™m sorry,â€ he faltered. â€œI had no right.â€

â€œDamn right,â€ Malcolm replied in a pretty good imitation of Tripâ€™s accent and with a faint smile that took the edge off the meaning of his words.

Trip purposefully did not react to the teasing and remained standing in the door frame, and Malcolm sighed, lowering the bottles again.

â€œWell, then,â€ Malcolm said, inclining his head. â€œI suppose Iâ€™ll keep them for another time.â€

Passing a nervous hand through his short hair, Trip said levelly, â€œMalcolm, look, Iâ€™m not good company tonight.â€

â€œI know that,â€ his friend replied softly. â€œWhy on earth do you think Iâ€™m here?â€ He paused before adding, â€œAll the same, I wonâ€™t insist, if thatâ€™s how you prefer it. Iâ€™ll see you tomorrow.â€ He turned to leave.

â€œWait,â€ Trip stopped him hesitantly, reaching out to touch his arm. â€œAlright, maybe... a beer is not such a bad idea,â€ he relented.

Malcolm gave him one of his smirks. This specific one had relief written all over it. Trip turned and led the way into his quarters. He dropped on his bunk and leaned back against the headboard, watching Malcolm take a seat in his desk chair.

In the almost four years of this mission theyâ€™d met countless times for a peaceful evening of friendly conversation. By now they knew automatically where each would sit: the owner of the quarters on his bunk and the â€˜guestâ€™ in the desk chair.

â€œWhatâ€™s this, are we reversinâ€™ roles?â€ Trip asked with a snort, watching Malcolmâ€™s hands as they busied themselves with the bottles. Usually it was the outgoing engineer who would try to draw the reticent lieutenant out of his shell. In the fleeting glance Malcolm shot him Trip read a little amusement and a lot of unease.

Malcolm uncapped the bottles and flipped the caps dexterously in Tripâ€™s wastepaper basket, smiling smugly when they hit their mark. Trip rolled his eyes.

Offering him a bottle, Malcolm said in a hollow voice, â€œCanâ€™t hurt for an hour or so â€“ to reverse roles, that is. But donâ€™t ever ask me to leave you in command of the Armoury.â€

â€œDonâ€™t worry, I wouldnâ€™t want you and your explosive mind anywhere near my warp engine,â€ Trip commented wryly.

They drank in silence. When Malcolm finally spoke, there was an edge to his voice that was alien to their firm friendship.

â€œWe may be reversing roles, but Iâ€™m afraid youâ€™re far better in mine than I am in yours,â€ he said almost painfully. â€œPerhaps I should have taken your hint and left,â€ he commented wistfully.

Trip bit his lip. â€œHell, Malcolm, Iâ€™m sorry I was such an ass,â€ he said, regret clear in his voice.

Malcolm let out a soft laugh. â€œIâ€™ve suffered worse. I think Iâ€™ll surviveâ€

Trip waited until his friend met his gaze before continuing. â€œDonâ€™t feel like you have to say anythinâ€™ okay?â€ He shrugged. â€œThereâ€™s nothinâ€™ to say,â€ he stated.

Leaning back in Tripâ€™s chair, Malcolm just looked at him.

â€œAnd Iâ€™m glad you broke through my barricades,â€ Trip added with a tentative smile that smoothed out a few of Malcolmâ€™s worry lines.

Another few minutes went by in silence.

â€œDonâ€™t you ever feel that being on a spaceship is... displacing in some way?â€ Malcolm suddenly asked, narrowing his eyes. â€œSometimes I feel as if weâ€™re living in a bubble, as if time doesnâ€™t really exist for us.â€

â€œHmm. Nope, never felt like that,â€ Trip replied. â€œIt would be nice, though, â€œhe added dreamily, shifting to find a more comfortable position and closing his eyes. â€œIf time didnâ€™t exist, for one, weâ€™d never get old,â€ he slurred.

Malcolm chuckled. â€œThat would surely boost enlistments in Starfleet.â€

Trip snorted: then he fell silent, lost in his thoughts, his breathing becoming deep and even.

â€œTrip... you still awake?â€ Malcolm asked softly after a few moments.

â€œHmm. Just thinkinâ€™,â€ Trip murmured, with his eyes still closed. â€œIf time did not exist for us...â€ his voice trailed.

â€œYes...?â€ Malcolm prompted him.

â€œI guess... I could stop wishinâ€™ that I was able to rewind it back to before...â€ Tripâ€™s voice caught in his throat and he swallowed hard.

â€œDo you still think of her?â€ Malcolm asked numbly. â€œI mean, a... a lot â€“ do you still think of her a lot?â€ he amended awkwardly.

Trip opened his eyes and studied his friend. No doubt Malcolm was berating himself for the clumsily worded question. Usually he was quite an eloquent speaker, although offering words of comfort was definitely not his strong suit. But Malcolm was there for him, and despite his earlier misgivings he was grateful for the company.

â€œNo, I donâ€™t,â€ he admitted gravely. After a moment he added, â€œAnd I hate myself for it. I feel like Iâ€™m betrayinâ€™ her, not thinkinâ€™ of her all the time.â€ He was expecting Malcolm to say that is was not so, that he shouldnâ€™t feel that way, so his answer caught him by surprise.

â€œYes, thatâ€™s the way one feels, isnâ€™t it?â€ he said, emotion uncharacteristically lacing his voice. â€œOne tells oneself itâ€™s normal; that grieving must come to an end and life must go on. But that feeling of guilt resurfaces, every time we remember the dear ones we lost and realise we havenâ€™t thought of them in a long while,â€ he commented bleakly.

Trip was struck. This was yet another unexpected glimpse that Malcolm was allowing him to take of his secretive self. He frowned, realising he knew really close to nothing of his friendâ€™s past. He had been under the obviously wrong impression that Malcolm had no one to grieve, let alone â€˜dear onesâ€™. He pushed himself up to a sitting position.

â€œDo you feel like that for someone?â€ he ventured to ask looking at him with open curiosity.

Malcolm cleared his throat and averted his eyes. â€œQuite a few people, actually,â€ he murmured. After a moment he drew a deep breath and continued, â€œBut I suppose as long as we do remember them from time to time, we are fine.â€

â€œYeah,â€ Trip slowly agreed, turning Malcolmâ€™s words in his mind. â€œYeah, youâ€™re right,â€ he repeated more convincedly.

Silence stretched once again. Trip felt the anguish that had troubled him all through the day ease a little. Mal had been more help than heâ€™d know.

â€œThanks for carinâ€™,â€ he told him sincerely. â€œNo one else remembered, it seems; not even the Captâ€™n,â€ he said, disappointment evident in his voice.

It had hurt him to realise that Jon had forgotten the anniversary of the Xindi attack, and of Elizabethâ€™s death. And in a way heâ€™d been surprised to find that Malcolm, instead, hadnâ€™t. One more time the lieutenant had proven that his feelings ran much deeper than his cool exterior would let one think.

â€œWell, he and Tâ€™Pol are busy negotiating that treaty,â€ Malcolm reminded him. â€œIâ€™m quite certain that in a couple of days, when heâ€™s through with it, heâ€™ll suddenly remember.â€

â€œYouâ€™re probably right,â€ Trip replied thoughtfully.

Malcolm raised his beer and took a last swig. Shaking the empty bottle he sighed and said, â€œSooner or later all good things come to an end...â€

Tripâ€™s budding grin immediately faded and he saw Malcolm stare back at him in shock.

â€œBloody hell, Trip, I... Iâ€™m such an idiot,â€ he cursed under his breath. â€œI come here full of good intentions and all I seem to be able to do is...â€

â€œAh, take it easy, Malcolm,â€ Trip interrupted him. â€œIâ€™m not that brittle.â€

To prove the point he forced a chuckle and tried to make fun of the situation. â€œIt was rather stingy of you, Lieutenant, to bring only two beers,â€ he said, raising his own empty bottle.

Malcolm shook his head and eyed him as if gauging how safe it would be to joke back.

â€œAs I was saying,â€ he replied, â€œthe Captain and Tâ€™Pol are busy. You and I, if you havenâ€™t noticed, are in charge of the ship these days. Canâ€™t have us end up in sickbay with a hangover, Commander.â€

â€œAh, so itâ€™s for security reasons that weâ€™re not getting smashed tonight,â€ Trip commented with a grin.

â€œPrecisely,â€ Malcolm replied. But once the Captain is back in his chair...â€ he left the rest unspoken and raised his eyebrows eloquently.

â€œThen we can get pissed and end up in sickbay?â€ Trip asked.

â€œWell, perhaps we just wonâ€™t get so pissed that we need to disturb the Doctor,â€ Malcolm suggested, cringing.

Tripâ€™s mouth curved up in a genuine smile, soon mirrored by his friend.

Another few minutes went by; then suddenly Malcolm got up and stretched, letting out a loud groan. He looked at Trip with searching eyes. â€œCall it a day?â€ he asked, and Trip knew he really meant will you be all right?

â€œYeah,â€ Trip simply replied, knowing his friend would understand I will, now.

â€œNight then, Commander.â€

â€œNight, Lieutenant.â€

THE END


End file.
